Interfering boss
"It happens every day. We get told what to at our morning briefings and off we go. About an hour later she breezes in demanding to know what we're up to."
‘She’s' our boss but we tell her as little as possible. When she demands to know what we’re up to, we clam up. We all think “you should know, you told us what to do an hour ago.”
We all work well as a team, but we’re feeling demotivated about the work. Our department could do so much better.
What can we do?
Firstly the question is not what can ‘we’ do about it, but what can ‘I’ do about it, because you have asked the question. If other members of the team are asking the same question you can help them. Irrespective of your title this is a great opportunity for you to step up as a leader.
I understand you may not see yourself as a leader amongst your peers, probably because you’ve only experienced bossy leaders and you want to be a colleague and not a boss. That’s understandable. The important understanding is that few bossy people are true leaders. Take away the power of their title and they become frustrated and lose control of themselves, let-a-lone lead others.
You may choose to become a true leader influencing change with natural power. You only need to apply three principles.
3 Principles
- Genuinely hold an intention to help. By genuine you are prepared to pay a price in maybe being a bit different from your peers. When they fall to gossiping, being catty or wasting time, you may choose to be physically present but in your mind, you don’t participate. You stand for more healthy thoughts and wait for your opportunity to influence.
- Ask good questions. Of course first you need the ‘space’ to ask a good question. That takes good listening skills, becoming empathetically connected so your questions are relevant and demand the right amount of stretch.
- Work on your boss too. Discreetly ask her if you can help. Accept that she may be dismissive or fail to really listen, because initially your purpose is only to let her know you want to help. Be patient and just keep showing her you do want to help, but only if she is prepared to respect you.
Without intervention the situation will deteriorate, your boss will become more frustrated and tension will mount. If you’ve been steadfast in your willing to help and discreet so her pride is not challenged, you will get your opportunity.
Whist waiting for the opportunity, you can increase your visibility role modelling a better way by subtly contrasting their behaviour. When they are agitated, you are calm. When they talk fast you talk slowly. When they are critical you are complimentary. When they are impatient you are patient and so on.
When you approve of the way people are behaving you subtly copy their behaviour.